happy trails?

D. Wow.

D is greatest guy I have ever let get away. I think that I actually chased him away. He came into my life at a point that I was not willing to accept a man let alone myself. He came around a few months after Drew and I broke up and I was in a dark, skanky place. I didn't think I deserved someone as good as him nor could I believe that someone like him could like and care for someone like me.

I knew I was making a huge mistake, even while I was making it but...well there was just a but at that time. I have never been quite able to get him out of my mind. That partially stems from the fact that he contacts me every month or so just to say hi and check in and see how I am doing.

So last night we have a huge talk. It makes no sense that we had this talk now because we are both in relationships and seemingly happy. A lot was put out on the table. Thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, reasons...everything. He is such an incredible man and I sit here feeling guilty for not only letting him get away but for letting my feelings for him consume me today. He is leaving for the air force soon and wants to see me. That scares me. He scares me. My feelings for him scare me.

I told him I wasnt sure I could see him...