Pass on this one...no good. I said no good.

The lack of "cool" bars in my town and surrounding area has finally caught up with me. For the 2 years I have been back from college I have coasted through these bars with my pompous "I was cooler than you in high school" aire and have always missed by a day or even an hour those run-ins that would definitely bring me back down to earth and bitch slap me into reality. This is not to say that I am bitchy or snobby or anything close to that, I am just aware that people know me and judge the hell outta me and are dissapointed when they see that I am not fat nor ugly and pretty successful. These people want to hate me and yet they cant seem to get enough of me. Ok fine, they cant seem to talk enough about me.

With all that said, this all came to a crashing halt the other night and I was dealt a pretty big blow.

Im out with a friend and we decide to go to one of the two "cool" Thursday night bars, we are aware that we are going to run into "everyone" so of course, we look better than we would lets say on...a Wednesday or even a Friday sometimes. We have a couple drinks before we leave and head over to the bar. We got to the bar just after the crowd and basically walked into our highschools 1998 - 2001's class reunions. It was insane. We give our hugs and have our "so what are you up to now?" and "its so great to see you" and the always popular "you look so great" conversations. Just as I am settling into my fourth drink "Weasel" (yes he really goes by that) informs me that "your boyfriend is coming here".

"Who is my boyfriend?" At this point Im a little buzzed so my heart starts beating really fast because "my boyfriend" can mean 1 of 3 things: my ex boyfriend is coming to the bar, a guy I used to crush on was coming to the bar or a guy I cant stand is coming to the bar. Im hoping its option 2 (I was looking pretty damn good that night.) Long story short...an ex of mine. No big deal. Him and I are still really good friends and see eachother pretty often.

So Dan (an ex) gets to the bar and takes a seat next to me. Nothing at all out of the ordinary. A bunch of us start taking shots and things are going great. My girl friend and I get tanked (with the rest of our "friends") and life as I knew it in that moment was perfect.

My friend and I decide to go dance (we are wasted) and go to the dance floor. Basically her and I are sloppy drunk whitegirl-grinding/convulsing/dancing and ignoring any creature that attempts to dance on us. (Unless the creature was someone we knew.) Well, Dan (who is a total punk guy) is just drunk enough that to him too dancing appears as if it is a good idea. So Dan and I are dancing and all of the sudden I am pulled back by this...force I suppose....

I turn around to see who is pulling me back and TA-DAAAAAAAAAAA its Drew, my most recent ex. Now Dan has never seen nor spoken with Drew nor even seen a picture of him. Drew however has seen pics of Dan. (Dan I were still "dating" when Drew and I met. Dating in this case means still sleeping together even though we mutually decided we much better off as friends...apparently that was with benefits at the time.) Drew hates Dan. This hate stems from the fact that I was sleeping with them both for about 3 months until I finally decided to be with Drew. (For those of you reading thinking, "you slut" they both fully knew about eachother and neither had any issues with it, or so I thought. I came to learn differently through my relationship with Drew.) It was all a convenience thing...I was still in college and Drew was there during the week...and when Id come home every weekend to work there was Dan.

So here we are...Drew...Dan...and Me. All 3 standing on the dance floor of this awful bar in front of half of my former high school drunkly gazing at each other in bewilderment. WHATTHEFUCK? So I casually introduce the boys thinking 'ok this no big deal I'm no longer with either one no one gives a shit'. Drew was not happy this was Dan, he was not happy at all. So Drew starts begging Dan to go the parking lot to "fight". Meanwhile I decided that everything can be solved with some drinks so I try to coax the boys into letting me buy us a round of drinks. Poor Dan is trying to figure out who the hell this guy is. While all of this is going on Weasel lets everyone know that Dan and Drew are about to get into a fight and 1998-2001 are on the dance floor waiting to see what happens. Some were waiting for a fight, others were waiting for me to fall flat on my face.

Girls are talking shit about these two guys "actually fighting over (insert my name here)", guys are making bets about who will win the fight and I am on the verge of tears out of pure shock and embarassment. This was no one's fault but my own.

I created the Drew Monster. I forced him into letting me back into his head thinking that there could some day be a chance. (Revenge is only good if it does not blow up in ones face...see my E*V*I*L post.)

I instinctly wrap my arms around Drew's neck and try to lure him in the sexiest way I know how to leave the bar with me. This isnt exactly what I wanted but I didnt want there to be a fight and I sure as hell didnt want to suffer anymore embarassment. (So selfish of me, fuck the fact that two people I cared about were going to maul each other...)Well I guess when Im drunk my sexy makes me look like a retard and Drew calls me out, "You stupid bitch, go eat a cheeseburger (what? Im seriously not fat) and fuck off." WHOA?!?! Seriously? Ummmm...no, you DO NOT talk to me like that, I dont care how jealous or fucking pissed off you are. Well ladies and gentlemen, there it was, my kick to the groin and my push off my horse.

I took one look at Dan and lets just say Dan was not happy with this comment; at all. In fact, Dan was enraged. Like I said, Dan and I are still pretty close, kind of like best friends now, and he was not about to let Drew to talk to me like that. Gloves off. The fight was on.

Half the bar clears outside to watch this. I of course run after the two of them screaming like a little bitch to stop but they are immune to the sound of my voice. Drew is spitting and Dan is whipping his neck around and cracking his knuckles. People are chanting and gathering in a circle. Words start flying back and forth, "you fucking pussy". "Fight you little bitch." "Go fuck yourself." You get the point. Just then 4 squad cars pull up.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
That was the crowds reaction, not mine.

I was so relieved it was sick. Since no punches or anything else had been thrown the cops let the boys go. Drew was asked to leave and Dan went back inside. I too left the bar.

I was knocked down, but just for that night. I was right back on riding it even harder on Sat night, yes Im that big of a loser that I still feel like I have something to prove, that I am worth the time people have spent knowing me, talking about, analyzing me, loving me and hating me. No, I do not still live in the past of high school. No, I do not base my life around other people's opinions. I do however, like to pretend like I have pride (something I have secretly never had in my life). This way these people, those people, or anyone else (who doesnt read my blog) can respect me and not walk all over me like the old days. Being people's doormat was something I gave up about a year ago and have not looked back...well not really I guess.

Both boys have since called and apologized to me. And like 7 people from the bar that night have asked me to be their "myspace friend" so all was not lost...most importantly though, my fake pride is still in tact as well as my fake "dont fuck with me attitude". Because lets be honest, if you really wanted to, Id most likely let you.

Wow...what a terrible story. What a terrible moral (wait was there really one behind all this garbage? Maybe, "Revenge will bite you in the ass".) And what a terrible thing to let people know about my protection; fake pride and fake snobbery.