Wednesday, May 23, 2007

RIP

I killed myself on Sunday. I committed suicide. Im glad I did.

Im glad I hit rockfuckingbottom.

I have never felt so ashamed to be me. I made my mom cry and I have no idea what I did or said for several hours. My drinking finally took over and won.

I have spent the past several weeks so drunk that I black out, sleep in my own vomit, and dont remember my actions.

I feel relieved.

I start therapy next week. I need to know why I am the way I am. I need to know why I use drinking to disguise myself. I need to know why I feel the need to drink 5 nights a week to get blasted.

Monday was the first day of the rest of my life.

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