People are starting to piss me off. More specifically, these men in my life who think it is ok to just come and go, are really fucking starting to piss me off.
DO and DE are two men who I have a past with. I dated both men (at seperate times) and both did something shady to make me leave their lives. (DO developed a serious cocaine addiction and DE developed a "taste" for waaaay older women when we were dating...we were even on a date when I saw him kissing this old lady...) About 8 months ago DE contacted me out of the blue. Other than him sticking his tongue in some old ladies mouth in front of my face, he was a good guy. We talked for a while about what happened (2 years ago) and we both moved on from it and were able to start a friendship again. We met out a couple times and had fun.
DO is a little bit of a different story. DO's coke problem lasted a few years. I gave up on him when I was 20. He contacted me, all sorts of fucked up, a few times throughout the years but I wanted nothing to do with him. I ran into him a little over a year ago and as usual he was blasted out of his mind. About 3 months ago he contacted me to tell me how much he missed me and that he is clean now. I believed him. I even went to see him to prove it. Sure enough, he is super clean now and things were great.
The commonality both these men have is that they have contacted me after not being with me for a while to let me know they miss me. I think that is sweet. Both men have also, after seeing me and hanging out with me again, have wanted to try the "relationship" thing again with me. I told them both (DE 5 months ago and DO 2 months ago) that I would like to build trust back up and work on getting to know eachother again before committing to any sort of relationship. Both were totally cool with that and respected that.
Those 2 fuckers, I found out today through friends, have girlfriends.
I am so over these shallow assbags in my life. It is too easy for people to get back into my life and I need to stop forgiving people for treating me like dirt. Since I started typing this DO has called me and DE has imed me. I am so stupid. I am such a god damn fool. These are girlfriends they have had for a while and just never told me about. What the hell is wrong with me? What do I deserve these kinds of people for my "friends'?
So I am sitting here starting to feel sorry for myself. How sad am I? How sad as this week been?
No more D's!!!
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