I know I bitch and whine...a lot...but lately, things have sucked. So basically I am going to let you know why My New Years Eve sucked the fattest dong ever...* The guy that invited me out spent the first 20 minutes of the night hitting on some 40 year old woman (heinous looking by the way...not a milf) before even walking over to saw hi to me. When he finally did walk over the first thing he said was, "You look stupid" because I was smoking. Happy New Year to you too Geek. Sooo pissed I wasted looking super hot on hanging out with him.
* For the remainder of the time I was at that bar I spent my time avoiding him letting foreign men entertain me and dance on me so I wouldnt have to talk to my guy. Normally this would never happen, but I wasnt about to spend my night sad or pissed.
* Yep, I went out with Twiddle-Dumb-Fucking-Selfish-Whore, my cousin. DING DING DING, I know my own fucking fault. Anyway, the bitch drinks a ton within the first 2 hours of the night...convinces me to leave the bar we are at with promises of hot guys at this next bar (her ex and his friends). OH. MY. GOD. Fucking liar. Skanky takes me to a bar where her ex is to fuck him. I dont mind that...the part I mind is...he is there ALONE. So I have to stand there by myself for about 40 minutes while they are making out and stare out the window at all the people who are having a good New Years Eve. Did I mention he was wearing a neck brace???? Oh yeah...shitstorm had a broken neck. Oh yeah...shitstorm also looks like Howard the Duck.
*So then I take a $30 cab ride to the parking garage where my car is parked, by myself. Cry in my car for 20 minutes alone and drive to my friends where I just crash on his couch.
* During all of this I decide to call my ex (stupid move)...he has a new girlfriend...so Im drunk and lonely and crying on my friends couch.
* At some point the guy I had met out at the first bar called to see where I was. I told him I was at my friends and he asked if I was "still coming over?". I told him I was on my way. He called about 30 times to see where I was for like 2 hours.
Happy New Year.
I am starting My New Year tomorrow....and things are going to be great. 2006 is going to be awesome...I just needed an extra day to grieve and be bitter for 2005.
7 comments:
i'm sorry your new year's was an emotional clusterfuck. at least your penis hasn't been on videotape since 2004 for all to see. 2006 will be better. if it's not, i'll kick its ass for you.
I give your new years a B+
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA Loz...slow down the fun train...what about your penis on a videotape? Please share this story with me! Pretty please!
And VB...I would give my NYE a c- BOOOOOOO it sucked.
slow down the fun train? no one's every asked me to slow it down.
long story short, NYE 2004 was lame. eight of us in my friend's parents' house. only good part was we had a video camera. 2 a.m. or so, i filmed myself peeing, where i gave play-by-play and closed it out with, "bye bye pee pee!!"
that's when i decided on the penis implant. best money i ever spent. ;-)
> Wow...you really dont hold back on the whole lack of PC crap...I like it.
Behold: My least PC entry to date.
http://snortpocket.blogspot.com/2006/01/5-hs-of-denver-driving.html
in my defense, my puke was fictional, and the other puke was from someone else. and it was real. and chunky.
besides, after your 20-minute picture fiasco, i'm still mad at you.
I wasn't lucky enough to have as much fun as you on NYE. I am so jealous. FUCK NEW YEARS!
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