What was I thinking?

Whoever invented the game Edward 40(oz.) Hands is a fucker (and a slight genius). Whoever has played this game is a gigantic moron. Include me in the latter.

Ok so Edward 40(oz.) Hands is ridiculous. My friends and I literally duct taped 2 King Cobras to our hands and drank them as fast as possible. (Think 50 - 55 minutes) The point you ask? Since your hands are taped to the 40 ozs it is virtually impossible to do much of anything...especially tinkle and smoke...and anything else you like to do when your drunk. Plus, according to the rules, you arent allowed to do any of that. (Oh yeah, this is a serious game, look it up on the internet, you'll find all sorts of shit on it.) Basically the purpose is to get you really drunk, really quick. The problems? Besides the obvious King Cobra choice of 40 oz (we're broke) and the concept itself, the game didnt get me drunk, it got me sick.

I was so full after drinking this shit that I laid on the bathroom floor for 2 hours...2 hours! Finally after I couldnt take laying on the bathroom floor anymore I moved the party to my friend's bed where I laid for about 20 minutes until I finally hurled 9 times into a nifty bucket. (I was the only girl playing this game and took second!!! So at least my puking wasnt for nothing!)

After hurling, I took the garbage can into my friends shower, washed it out (and the shower), and got myself ready to go out. Yep, I still managed to use a flat iron for my hair (didnt burn my forehead either) and put all of my make up on and not look like a hooker. Well I got to Cubby Bear, watched a terrible band play, and decided that my stomach could not take the water I was drinking, let alone the smoke, bar smell, and the sweaty wang smell of the dude standing behind me. His jeans were too tight and the boys were sweating something fierce, unless that was just his body odor...yuck. Unfortunately for me, my senses were heightened due to the barf attack and the bar and I were just not able to play together.

I felt bad because I met my girls there and just sucked, but they understood and I got some mad props for playing and conquering "Edward 40(oz.) Hands". Barfing is to be expected during the game and I waited til I was done playing!

I learned a couple lessons from this experience:

1) Malt Liquor is best left on the shelf.
2) Drinking 2 King Cobras in 50 minutes is do-able...but I dont want to do it again.
3) Im a bitch drinker.
4) And finally, the next time I play (Oh yeah, Ill totally play that game again, it was money) I want either a budlight 40 or a...well just a budlight 40.
5) Oh and one more thing, I really need to eat before I play again, 2 chocolate chips cookies are not sufficient enough to play that game on.