Monday, November 21, 2005

Stalker.

My ride home from work on Friday set the tone for my entire weekend. I probably should have called the cops and reported this guy, but I was too hysterical too even think about that.

The drive home:
Im driving home at about 5:40 pm.
Im trying to get over to my exit but this asshole wont let me in. In fact, he is doing the oh-so-classy wanna munch your box gesture and then actually lifts his hips and starts humping the air/stearing wheel. Yummy. Ok so being a girl I am used to this. Usually from young guys trying to be funny, but this guy was like late 30's early 40's and just weird. Ok, so he absolutely will not let me over. I start to get upset at this point (crying a little). Then, right when traffic picks up, he cuts in front of me and I have to slam on my brakes causing the car behind me to slam on its brakes and causing the car behind that one to hit it. So I bright the guy. I know, not smart on my part, but I felt like an asshole when it was his fault for this mess.

I manage to get in the far left lane before traffic completely stops. He finds me and gets right behind me. He leaves his brights on for 5 minutes. I am not kidding. He is also tapping my car. Now, I am an avid Lifetime for women watcher, I know better than to get out of my car. I could car less at this point if he is doing damage or not. Im wondering how no one is noticing this either??? Lucky for me my windows are tinted and his brights werent affecting my eyes. Unfortunately this is causing me stress and making me cry hysterically. I have to get off at an unfamiliar exit and sure enough, he gets off at the same exit as me, not leaving my ass for anything in the world.

I have no sense of direction whatsoever. So for me to get off at an exit I have never taken before (in the middle of rush hour on Friday) is bad, bad news. Not to mention, I have this stalker behind me. Im freaking out at this point. Im trying to call someone but no one is answering their phones.

At this exact point, this guy juts out from behind me, gets into the lane next to me and proceeds to almost side swipe my car. As he continues to do this he is laughing and still humping the steering wheel. I am crying to the point that I have to pull over because I am hyperventilating. I do this quickly and there is no way for him to get over so he has no choice but to keep going. THANK GOD.

So, after I have calmed myself down, and actually thrown up, I try to figure out where the fuck I am. I am in a town that is at least 25 minutes from where I live. I drive around for a bit looking for a road that is familiar and finally find one. I get home from work at 7:32.

I was so sick/drained from that whole situation that all I did was sleep all weekend. I guess that was good because I definitely needed it.

(Now I need something else and I know this week & weekend I will not be getting any of that and that just SUCKS! BOOOOOO.)

What a fucking disaster.

13 comments:

Eric2613 said...

Ouch, sorry to hear about that guy, that was a pretty scary story. You should have called your brothers and told them to meet you somewhere and have that guy follow you there. B/c whatever he was doing was not going to get any better if you were to stop and he got out as well. I'm sure he wasn't going to ask you out for a Slurpee or anything.

But not going to get it? Don't know why that would happen. Well, Thanksgiving Eve is one of the biggest nights of the year to go out so I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to get it.

Unless of course you were talking about Turkey on Thanksgiving and then I would have to agree that would be a disaster.

Speaking of disasters, I met the poor man's version of you this weekend. I'm sure this comes to mind when you hear that... always imitated, never duplicated. Very true. There was an after hours and when I was escorting her and her friend out, she turned and asked if she could stay. Yeeeeeah, sorry sista, that's not such a good idea. I got the "your a dick" line... at least I think she said dick, I don't know, I couldn't hear it b/c by the time she got to that word, the door had slammed shut.

Youwish said...

Poor mans version of me??? OHMYGOD...fuck that girl. I hate her for trying to be like me...especially since she sucked. (How was that for an over reaction?!) Besides me probably being cuter and funnier there is one huge difference....I would have never asked to stay because lets be honest, I would have been invited!

Why was her staying not such a good idea???

Eric2613 said...

I think it was said best once, let me see if I can recall, and I quote... "Besides me probably being cuter and funnier there is one huge difference"... maybe not said best b/c "cuter" and "funnier" are actually 2 huge differences, but you get the point.

And you would have been invited to stay? Just remember, you have to get an invite to come over before you get an invite to stay, schmoops. ;)

Youwish said...

Cuter and funnier are small differences...not HUGE....

And invited to come over????

Well, I just wont go there, but Ill always keep that in mind.

Eric2613 said...

Believe me, in this case, they were huge differences. Maybe I should have stressed the very poor man's version.

"I just won't go there?", never known you not to go there, especially with me. Wow, you did change over the past couple months.

Youwish said...

You say that like its a bad thing.

I think sometimes my mouth is open too much for my own good (and you my dear, can take that anyway you want).

Eric2613 said...

Which I guess brings us full circle to one of my first questions today... so why won't you be getting what you want this week or weekend?

Youwish said...

You asked for it:

Boy #1: Got feelings for me...got the axe

Boy #2: Got a g/f :(

Boy #3: Asked to "please do him the honor of going to dinner with him"...1,2,3 Stikes with that one...OUT

Randoms:
Wed Night:
Going out with a buttload of friends...cant happen with them there. (Guys who I wouldnt sleep with)

Thursday:
Out with brother and his friends (enough said)

Friday:
Girls night (hidden slut complex from the ladies)

Saturday:
Bachelorett Party (staying in a hotel room with like 20 ladies...BOOOO! *Plus part of our bach. attire is a freakin cowboy hat...not cute on me.)

=ing no ass for me...maybe its time for me to slow down...this could be my sign....

Eric2613 said...

Interesting to see that these guys are breaking the #1 Golden Rule of Booty Calls... Don't try to make a booty call into something more than it is.

You can make most other relationships into a booty call (if you really wanted to) but it can never go the other way around.

I remember when a girl tried to pull that switch on me, basically, guilt tripped me into taking her on a date so I she could at least justify mindless hooking up to herself. Lets just say by the end of the night, there was no talking, no more hooking up, no more anything b/c that was that. I have to say I didn't go into the night with the best attitude. Should have taken your approach and sent her to the chopping block.

Well, learned my lesson and never happened again.

And what part of you will persevere? I guess we'll see what happens for you over the next week or so.

Youwish said...

Gawd, I hope its a happy medium. I dont want to be "stuffy" again because that would just suck. Skanky is fun, but not everything. (damn that realization) Ill keep ya updated...like you care! hahahaha

Mistress_Mini said...

Men are pigs, & this just supports the claim. I'm sorry that happened to you:(

Hey Lifetime has finally proven itself useful for something other than wasting our time with their addictive movies lol;)

Eric2613 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Youwish said...

E...I read the comment before you deleted it...were you referring to me????