Craziness

So lately I have been living the life that I promised myself I would never live...a boring one. I have pretty much been working a ton, watching some tv, and going to bed with the rest of the geriatrics. But I decided (due to some unexpected dirty text messages yesterday) that I need to stop letting "the man" (actually the asian, russian and the brand new lazy eye aka my bosses) control my time. I signed up for 9am-5pm and Ill be damned if it will be any longer than that.

So this weekend things are looking ok. I have already arranged to meet up with an old friend who I have not seen in like 3 years. I dont know where this kid came from, maybe he is just as hard-up as me, but those texts got my panties all bunched and ready to come off.

My only concern with my friend is that my taste in men has changed considerably since I dated (humped) him for like 2 months in college. He was not the best looking guy (borderline ugly) back then but then again I had low self esteem and lots of booze not to mention the newly obtained freshman-junior year 30 lbs. But now, Im looking better, feeling better, and trying not to be such a lush. I have definitely dated (humped) hottness since him and I dont know if I could back to the pity party that is him. I guess I will just have to wait to see what happens. Maybe he will be super hot? Maybe that is just wishful thinking...

On a much more depressing note:

My admirer never came forward and stopped after the panties. WHATTHEFUCK is that??? Honestly, I was pretty upset when I did not receive anything on Valentines Day to reveal who my admirer was. Who does that? I even wore the panties in hopes that I could show the lady that I appreciated her gift. Damn her. Im never falling for a bitch like that again. Ok fine, I didnt fall for her, but I was definitely curious. What an evil trick.

Bitches, cant live with em, love when they give you panties.

Dang

Sweep the leg.

Damnit I am still alive and still loving the cock.

My job has been kicking my ass as has the carpet shopping with my mom.

I promise to return soon with some average, as usual, posts.

In the incredibly creative words of Russell Simmons
"God bless and goodnight."

Enough Said.

Bleh.

Hi my name is You Wish and I am a myspace addict.

No, I am not ashamed to admit this.

This admission, in fact, brings me to latest annoyance.

What is with the whiny bitches who have been posting/crying for weeks about Valentine's Day? Oh and by the way, the bitches I am referring to are the guys of myspace. (You can say whatever you want about how lame and gay myspace is, but a lot of my real life friends are on there and they all do not suck. I am not stating a very good case here am I?)

As if that kick to the groin of the male species wasnt bad enough. These alleged men (not so much my real life friends, but most likely someone else's real life friends) post these "Valentine Applications" for prospective Valentine's to fill out. These are not exactly Johnny Coolguys and have never and will never need to sort through the ladies with an app. So I ask this; why? These guys are forcing me to lose all faith in the male gender. Do men really carry the same "crazy" gene as women? Or, are they just late-bloomers into the world of pathetism regarding this ridiculous excuse for a holiday?

I can understand the little high school girls that cry out for Valentine's Day attention. (All of them do.) It isn't the fact that really give a shit about the "holiday" they just want to walk around school with with their balloons, roses, cards, candies, teddy bears, whatever lame-o shit makes the ladies happy these days, and throw their shit in other bitches faces. "Yeah thats right wenches, some guy 'luvs'/<3's me and not you and that just means that I am better than you."

College ladies as well, although not quite as obsessively and really only the ladies that live in the dorm have my excuse for going insane around this holiday. They want the goodies delivered to their room to again throw in the faces of the doubters/haters/"friends" that someone fucking "loves" them. (My mom was the coolest, she would send me flowers and gifts with a random guys name on it so I would be the envy of the lovely ladies on floor 14 - I lived in the all girls dorm - and when we werent walking around naked touching eachother we would talk shit behind eachothers back. Duh.) We essentially used this day as big "FUCK YOU BITCHES" and that is about it. Love/Guys was never the actual subject regarding why we cared about this day.

I am not one of those single bitter bitches who hates Valentine's Day. In fact, I think its kinda fun. I love getting the obligatory grandma, mom and brothers cards and I have all the more reason to enjoy chocolate (and not feel bad due to the fact that someone else bought the chocolate, not me). I am just confused as to why, especially as I grow older, males are becoming more bitch-like regarding this holiday. Maybe there is no answer and it's only a few guys who are ruining the definition of a male. Whatever the case may be...they are really starting to annoy me.

Stop crying people. Its a fake day. If you are single, consider it a blessing...you dont have to waste your money on more crap.

Boobs.

Drum Roll Please....

Roses yesterday...pink ones.

I know for sure this person is in my office/office building because I got nothing over the weekend at my home. I still have no idea who this broad is, but Im pretty sure Im falling in love with her...or the fact that she buys me stuff. Whatever, its all the same superficial game. (Im going to love someone for their looks or their money...isnt that what "love" is.) Ok enough of that garbage.

I hope my next gift is a vibrator because let me tell you, no broad can have enough of those.

So Loz, Im sorry...no girl on girl booby stuff...yet.

Which brings me to boobies...
I am incredibly irate with mine right now. I know I know I know...every girl that has boobs doesnt want them and every girl that doesnt have 'em wants 'em. I am lucky to have a pretty sweet rack. They aren't too big and not too small. They look great in clothes and produce some mad cleave that is wicked (god, I wish I was from Boston) hot. However, they suck as of late.
******
So, I have decided to actually start working out again which is amazing because I forgot how much I actually enjoy beating the hell out of myself. Its not so much a vanity thing for me, although I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice, as much as it is an awesome stress reliever. Due to this working out stuff my body is changing, slimming down a little, firming up more, inches are being tossed aside and weight is being dropped. Boobies tend to lose weight when this happens as well.

Not my fucking boobs. Nope. Mine, if you can believe this, are actually getting a little bigger. They are sore and pouring out of my bra.

Not getting my period.
Not pregnant.
Not working out my chest.
Not taking an weird-o pills.

There is no reasonable explanation for this. I am 24 years old and have been a 34D since I was 19...weren't they supposed to stop growing around that time? What is happening to me?

I am feeling like the Incredible Hulk. I cant even wear half my work shirts to work because the buttons look like they are going to freakin' explode. Yes, this would normally be cool for most girls, but when you already have big boobs, this is not cool, not cool at all.

Good Rant.

Life is good.

Just because I rock doesnt mean Im made of stone.

I love my life. I dont say that enough, but today I love my life.

Its a girl/lady/woman/lesbian who wants to get on me. Yep...my life is worth living today...this girl/lady/woman/lesbian tucked a pair of red panties (unused thank god) bikini style- with a pink heart in my car door handle.

The note attached read - "Enjoy Love-" Totally girls handwriting in a purple gel pen.

Uh. Muh. Gawd. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME....AWESOME.
Its obviously someone I work with...which makes me a little sick...not because the person woo-ing me has a vagina...because the women I work with are gross. Unless its a broad in the building. I often stop to chat with the other luscious ladies in the building (me technically being the only one classified as luscious). This is still no good though...no hot ladies...no good looking ladies...a couple average....a few a little below...and the trolls. Please dont be a troll.

I hope its the blonde downstairs, she is Cincinatti Bengal at least (great uniform, ugly helmet).

I cant help but wonder what I will do if it does turn out to be a hot chick. Well first off I will feel even more awesomer (I dont care if that is not a word, it is now) if that is possible than I do right now. Then I will definitely take her out for some drinks for showering me with kisses and panties. Then I will drop her off at her house....and then what? I dont know how into I am with this whole experimenting with the same sex thing. Sure Ive done the sloppy girl-on-girl drunk kisses and the triple kisses like every other classy college girl...and of course the obligatory picture titty and ass grabs...but thats about it. I cant imagine much more. Ok fine, Id play with boobies because I think boobs are cool (they carry the same amount of fun as balls). That is really it though.

Oh whatever...who cares about the technicalities...A GIRL LIKES ME! (Again.)

Oh you know this.

From a far can I see my car as I walk towards it to leave for lunch and I as I get a little closer I notice all these pink dots all over my back and side window. Ok I know I did not leave the house this morning with pink shit all over my car so I pick up the pace and speed walk to my car only to find that the little pink dots were not dots at all but...and this is off-the-chain-whack...kisses. It looked like someone had made love to my car. (Immediately "get outta my dreams and into my car" starts playing in my head...LOVE THAT SONG!)

Now I think this is hilarious and all but what the hell does this mean? Could this be my second chance at a girl date? As some of you may recall in the previous blogs, "Girl on Girl Action" (http://feisty610.blogspot.com/2005/11/girl-on-girl-action.html) and "Girl on Girl II" (http://feisty610.blogspot.com/2005/11/girl-on-girl-ii.html) the ladies love me. I think its awesome. I love that the ladies and gents both want to fight over my goodies. (Ok so I am taking things a bit far with that statement, but I think its rad.) Babes, there is plenty of me to go around. (If you have a penis mostly.) My goodies, of course, belong to the wang but the pootie holds mystery for me. To be perfectly honest though, I am not so sure I will willing to solve that mystery. Anyway, I have been sitting at my desk since 1:00 dying to know who loves me enough to kiss (possibly hump) my vehicle. This person (and I do hope its a girl with the lipsticky kisses, a man with lipstick may freak me out a little (a lot)) needs to come forward because boobs or pecs...Ill be their Valentine.

Smooches!

what a girl wants

"What do you want in a boyfriend?"

This question has plagued me for like 3 days now. (Damn you Mark for asking this ridiculous question.)

What do I want in a boyfriend?
Well here is what I come up with thus far.

*I want someone who is going to leave me-the-fuck-alone when I have a bad day. I dont want a pity-party and I usually dont want to talk about it. I want to have a drink, relax, and watch tv (and probably do it to get my frustration out).

*I want a man who does not try to solve all my problems. Half the fun of my life is making mistakes and then trying to fix them. I like to find my own solutions. Sure, Im wrong...a lot (and I will always admit that) but I dont mind being wrong so fuck off with your Oprah-wise crap that your ex g/f tried to teach you.

*I realize people take things from previous relationships, good and bad. I dont care what your ex g/f tells you, if I dont like something you do (for me that is), then I DO NOT LIKE IT...I dont give a shit if she did. If your ex likes her toes sucked, thats rad, I personally do not, so dont tell me what Im missing, just say, "thanks for not making me suck on your toes, you rock". What is right for her may not be right for me.

*I do not like to cuddle. (This also applies to PDA "Public Displays of Affection"- unless Im drunk.) Do not even think about touching me when I fall asleep, Im not into that. I like my own space. If I wake up in the morning and your arm is around me and Im sweating be prepared to be knocked out. (Ok fine, once in a great while I like to cuddle, but I will let him know beforehand that it is ok.)

*I want a man who is secure in who he is and does not care who or what my exes were. Bad mouthing them only makes you look like a complete chatch. (You never met them and I do not need to tell you anything about them if I do not want to.)

*I want to a man who is somewhat spontaneous. I want to go do random things. I like partying and getting drunk, but sometimes, I want to go to a concert or go apple picking...or something different. (Apple picking...right.)

*Great smile.

*Independent.

*I need a man who gets along with his family. I realize that not everyone likes their family, but my family is very close (Jewishclose), Id like to be with someone who is close with his family as well, its just a nice thing.

*A man with an average (or slightly larger) penis. Too small and too big are just whack. Too small does nothing for me in the sack...too large gives him the constant right to discuss it (this discussion does get annoying believe it or not) as well as hurt my pootie.

*I want a man who is educated. That doesnt mean I want a man who is a genius or brilliant, a college degree or even vocational degree/certificate (whatever it may be) is sufficient.

*Must love dogs. Yep that movie sucked but I am going to always have a dog so he better like dogs.

*Most importantly I want a man who respects me. If we argue, chalk it up to a difference of opinions, not an opportunity to name call or attack my insecurities. I will fuck you up in the name calling department if you even try...trust me.

Thats really all I have thus far. I dont think I ask all that much. But then again, men are entitled to have what they want and I may not be the type of girl that a lot of men want. Im going to think more about this and add to it later...